So Convicted!

I recently found myself telling my son to be careful what he learns from each of us adults in the family. Unfortunately, there are areas of each of our lives that these kids do not need to take with them. I told him there is one thing he needs to learn from his Granddad. It is love. As soon as I said that, I found myself convicted remembering scriptures, like “without love, I am nothing.” And “the greatest of these is love” All of this sudden my things I get irritated with my dad became nothing! I realized he may have some things I’d like to change (as with anyone that lives with me), but while I’m upset about dishes in the sink, he has “love”. Boy have I been missing it!

Even if I do good deeds and great things, according to scripture, if I do not have love, I AM NOTHING! Scripture is clear on that. Read for yourself: “Though I speak with the tongues of men & angels, but have not love, I have become as a sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gifts of prophecy and understanding all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have the faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.” 1 Corinthians 13:1-3

It truly convicts me about the part of having faith to move mountains. I have had many unbelievable prayers answered in very clear ways that it was from God, which has increased my faith tremendously. A dear friend of mine once told me the thing she learned from me was faith. I hope to share some of these answered prayers soon to encourage you to pray and remind you what God can do. But my faith is nothing without LOVE! Wow!

But do I have love? When I evaluate the definition of love, I think I am missing it! This is where God has me. I have a lot to learn!

Definition from 1 Cor. 13:4-8

Love suffers long and is kind: I do feel like giving up on people after a while. The world tells us about “tough love” for those who have failed over and over. All of this sudden I am taking that “tough love” idea to God for understanding if that is from him. I like the idea of tough love to be able to lay others burdens off my chest, but is that from God? Not sure yet… new thoughts here. As for the is kind part: How many times I can think of even recently that I was not so kind (being blunt and not considerate with my words) to someone, thinking in a round about was that it was it was deserved. This is my natural way of handling things when hard times come.

Love does not envy: Not so much lately, but this does happen.

Love does not parade itself, is not puffed up: Unfortunately, being honest, I think there are times in my heart I find it parading itself being proud of different things at different times.

Does not behave rudely: Well I have lost there! Some of my blunt words have been rude. I hear sarcasm at times and mocking come out of my mouth to my closest loved ones. I see this a lot if I am trying to focus on something I want to do, and not being considerate. (like if I am on the computer or watching a show that I act rudely to interruptions)

Does not seek its own: That goes along with my rudeness when someone interrupts me doing what I want (seeking my own). I feel this is in my life much more than comes to mind right now.

Is not provoked: Don’t I wish! I can be so calm with my children, but some of them know how to drive me past all patience! I have one child that argues, one whines, one jokes and interrupts class, and the other lacks understanding even after I explain things to him over and over which throws me off the deep end. Thankfully my little one does not provoke me yet. OK, I am excited that God proclaims this is even possible to not be provoked!

Thinks no evil: I won’t share the evil thoughts that come in my mind, but they come. I think this is not so much those quick bad thoughts that you have no idea where they came from. I think it means any type of harmful or revengeful type thoughts towards others.

Does not rejoice in iniquity but rejoices in the truth: I think this means does not rejoice in sinful things, but rejoices in pure things of God. At this time, thankfully I am not recalling anything. I don’t doubt there is and I am not aware.

Love bears all things: I think at this point, I am bearing with what I am supposed to.

Believes all things: Hmm? What if they have a record of lying? OK, someone tell me what this means. I do know it hurts me when others do not trust me. Especially when I feel like I have a record of telling the truth. Like if I feel sick and cannot do my work, it hurts when I feel like people do not trust me and seem to be mad at me like I am not really feeling all that bad. Also there are times I have thought Scott should do certain things certain ways at work. I am recalling a time when I thought he should be able to come home early after working 2 weekends in a row. By my questioning his judgement and showing frustration with his decision, it showed distrust like I don’t believe what he is saying and don't trust him. That hurts him and is not loving him.

Hopes all things: I can see where love and not hoping for the best are opposites. I have seen myself not like certain people and in all honesty, I have hoped bad things for them. How awful! I think this is like Jonah not wanting the people of Nineveh to have good things after all the bad things they were doing.

Endures all things: sticks it out! Puts up with it. Wow! I am thinking of the girl in the bible who left her husband and cheated on him. She was later being sold as a slave where her husband happened to be, bought her and brought her back home. Now that is love! That is all of the above definitions of love!

Love never fails! This is something to ponder. I need God to change me from the inside out on love. I certainly do not like the thoughts of my life being NOTHING!

God, please work on me in all of these areas. Please let your perfect love shine through all I say and do. Please forgive my fleshly thoughts and create in me a clean heart. In Jesus name. Amen.